"Who are these people and why do they
hate me?? What did I do?" - J. Heggie

Granite City Waffle House
A Glimpse Into Zak's Account
"I Know About You DefCon Hackers!"
Disneyland Security
FAQs You Really Don't Wanna See

Here it is kiddies. What you have been waiting for. The gnu PLA and guess what. It isn't written by that looser redb0xchillipepper mainly because i felt like fucking writing. If you have a problem with it then go and harass someone because i really don't care. So without further adieu here is the lamest PLA to date (well maybe that one about hacking bbs's was gayer). Oh and the reason this is pla099.txt is just because i wanted to confuse you and make your little puny brain hurt.

-Dr. Hate

The Granite City Waffle House Harassment

(just unprovoked good harassment)

cashier: Granite City Waffle House
dhate: Yea what kind of waffle's do you guys have?
cashier: Regular and pecan waffle's sir.
dhate: What's the difference?
cashier: One has Pecan nuts and the other doesn't
dhate: How much is a pecan waffle?
cashier: $1.75 sir
dhate: $1.75 for a fucking waffle!!?
cashier: yes sir one pecan waffle is $1.75
dhate: that better be one big fucking waffle
cashier: It's slighty larger then a regular waffle sir
dhate: you guys don't put bourbon or anything like that in it?
cashier: Nope, just pecans sir.
dhate: what kind of pecans?
cashier: well, uh, i don't know sir. Just regular pecans i think
dhate: you are charging me $1.75 and you don't know what kind of pecans are in it?
cashier: maybe you should talk to the chef sir
dhate: yea i think so too
The cashier goes and gets linda*the chef* and me and zak are just busting up laughing the whole time.
linda: hello?
dhate: Hi, what kind of pecans do you put in your pecan waffles?
linda: Just run of the mill pecans
dhate: you don't pay some mexican to pick them in brazil or anything?
linda: no sir, just regular pecan nuts
dhate: well how do i know that the pecan nuts you are serving are sanitary?
linda: sir you have my guarantee, all of our food is clean.
dhate: how do i know you didn't shoot those pecan nuts out your clit?
linda: sir i think that's kinda disgusting
dhate: well i want to be sure i am getting sanitary pecan nuts. After all I am paying $1.75 for one god damn waffle
linda: sir i assure you the waffle's are clean
dhate: well i don't believe you
linda: i'm sorry to hear that sir
dhate: if i bring in my own pecan nuts, could you cook me up some waffles using those?
linda: sir we can't do that
dhate: why the fuck not?
linda: it's against policy
dhate: yea but my pecan nuts are sanitary and i don't think yours are.
linda: sir i'm sorry but you can't bring in your own nuts
linda: no sir i'm not, it's just against policy
linda: *sigh*, no sir i didn't say that
linda: (getting just a tad bit pissed) sir i did NOT say that, i just can't let you bring in pecan nuts
(Linda kinda went nuts after that. I heard a bunch of nawty werds and her yelling with other employees. She was yelling so loud me and zak heard some one tell her to shut up and then we hung up.)

After a lot of calling up the waffle house and yelling "MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!" we finally stumbled upon linda's home fone #.

cashier: Granite City Waffle House
dhate: is linda working?
cashier: No she isn't sir
dhate: Damn! Do you know when the next time she will be working?
cashier: not for another two days
dhate: oh great, i need to get ahold of her very badly and all i have is her work number.
cashier: would you like her home fone # sir?
dhate: (FUCK WOULD I!) If you could give it to me it would be appreciated
cashier: no problem, just don't tell any one i gave it to you
dhate: Don't worry i won't
And that's how we got her home fone #. Easy wasn't it. So we called her up at home and got this really cool guy.
husband: Hello?
dhate: is linda home?
husband: yes just a second
linda: hello
dhate: Hi linda i was calling in regards to why YOU THINK MY NUTS ARE UNSANITARY!
linda: Fuck off asshole, you little cock sucker (linda went more berserk this time then the first time)
dhate: oh is that so pecan boy
husband: yea you think you are so funny, why don't you come down here and see how funny you really are
dhate: was that a physical threat pecan boy?
dhate: you're so sexy when you're mad cupcake
husband: Oh you just laugh now funny boy, when i find you you're gonna wish you never got a fone!
dhate: oh is that so?
husband: leave my wife alone!
The next day they changed their number. I think that's a record. Even Glen Danzig let us call him twice. Well after awhile they said that linda didn't work there any more until one night i tricked them a good one!
cashier: Granite City Waffle House
dhate: can i speak to linda please
cashier: She doesn't work here any more
dhate: tell her this is her husband
cashier: Oh! hold on one moment(you can here linda yelling about why am i calling so late in the background)
cashier: she want's to know why you are calling so late
dhate: it's an emergency
cashier: OH!
linda: hello?
linda: fuck you little punk
dhate: tricked you a good one didn't i?
linda: (once again she went berserk and we hung up the fone to her yelling at the top of her lungs)
I'm gonna be moving up to Illinois soon and the first place i'm going is the waffle house so i can harass linda in person. So be expecting another file on linda!

A Glimpse Into Zak's Account

Recently my account was taken away from me because of reasons beyond my control but Zak was nice enough to let me use his account and this is what i found after he tried so hard to delete all evidence of his social devience. These are his .bash_history and his .newsrc
who    ;zak is looking for gurls to pimp!
talk apok0lyp ttyp1 ;guess he found one and her name is bob!
talk ;i have a feeling they were talking about
                                    ; felching
menu ;zak misses his good old windows gui i guess
who  ;still checking out the chicks
exit ;self explanitory
ls   ;looking for porn!
rm *.jpg ;found old porn and deleted
rm *.gif ;there is nothing worst then old porn
menu ;zak needs his menu so he can irc!
irc el_jefe ;he's gonna go get some cybersex now!
ls ;i guess he covered his eyes the first two times he did an ls
irc el_jefe ;gonna go get some gnu gifs from #felch!
e ;zak has that twitching problem and stuff
dir  ;zak you dos hacker!
dir  ;uhm
dir  ;kinda redundant isn't it
rz   ;u/l porn!
dir  ;zak's kinda slow on figuring out that dir don't work in unix
dir  ;i think my dog has figured out that dir don't work in unix by now
sz mom10.gif jporshe.jpg preg-10.jpg ;for some odd reason i doubt jporshe.jpg
                                     ; is about a car!
dir ;oh my lord
rm mom10.jpg   ;deleting the porn so no one will know he's a wierdo
rm mom10.gif   ;GO AWAY PORN!
rm preg-10.jpg
rm jporshe.jpg
ftp    ;more porn any one?
rm morhot.jpg  ;come to ur own conclusion on what this is
rm morhot.gif  ;i don't think zak has figured out wildcards yet
rm guesswho.jpg ;P0RN!
rm daisy2.gif   ;P0RN!
rm asia1.jpg    ;damn zak must go through vaseline like gerbils
sz *.gif *.jpg ;now zak figures out how to use wildcards
rm *.gif  ;getting rid of the 0-DaY p0rn
rm *.jpg
sz *.jpg *.gif
rm *.jpg
rm *.gif ;zak kinda does the same thing alot don't he?
3xit ;notice the 3, he's still in kR4D m0d3!
cd News;checking out the 0-DaY in the p0rn newsgroups
sz *.gif
rm *  ;0H N0 TH3 W4R3Z 4R3 G0HN3!
cd ..
pico hank ;i have no clue what this is but i'll find out
type ;still in d0s m0de
type pla.irc ;l00k it's the famed pla.irc
cd News ;need i say more p0rn?
cd ..
k   ;evidence of zak's twitch
menu  ;just can't get enough of that ascii menu
pico .rhosts ;hey what's this!
rm .rhosts  ;i better rm it!
type pla.irc ;there's that pla.irc thingie again
pico pla.irc ;tsk tsk every one knows you are supposed to use vi zak
ping ;ping fludz!
ping  ;zak is a secret nazi!
ping  ;ditto
ping     ;uh getting kinda excessive with that ping command
nslookup         ;l00king for sites with p0rn
cd ..
cd eyers
cd ..
cd apok0lyp ;let's steal his warez!
ls -la
cd ..
cd blinddog
get ;getting p0rn probably involving felching and pigs
rm hank ;destroying the evidence
sz phoenix.* ;why the fuck would any one d/l phoenix?
sz phoenix.txt
man phoenix ;haha zak is looking for them manual pages for phoenix
look ;look?
look phoenix.txt
see ;man cat there joey
/dcc ;h3y i'm n0t 0n irc but 3y3 w1ll still dcc warez!
cd News
sz *.gif *.jpg ;can't get enough porn
rm *
cd ..
cat  ;zak found the command!
cat --help
cat pla.irc ;hey it's that pla.irc script again!
pine ;"holy shit i got mail!"
ls       ;blah
exit     ;blah
sz pla.irc ;no clue as why he d/l this
cd ..
cd eyers
cd mail  ;blah
la -la
ls -la
cd ..
cd blinddog ;checking out his 0-DaY
cd apok0lyp
cd ..
sz pla.irc ;uh i thought u already d/l this
sz ftr
**0800000000022d ;zak got flashed!
sz ftr.irc
cd news
cd News  ;m0re p0rn aga1n
rm cax.jpg ;i have no idea what a cax is but i'm scared, very scared
sz *.JPG ;m0re porn then you can shake a stick at
sz *.jpg
sz *.gif
**0800000000022d ;stop flashing me!
rm *  ;bye bye p0rn
cd ..
cd ..
cd fuckme ;hey now, no need to get vulgar
cd paok0lyp
cd apok0lyp
cd ..
cd blinddog
cd ..
cd deter  ;looking f0r deters gifs
cd News
sz *.jpg
sz rob*
**0800000000022d  ;flashed yet again
rm *
who stb  ;cruising the net!
who      ;he sp0tted a chick!
pine   ;hey how come they don't say "you've got mail" any more?
finger eyers ;that's just fucking disgusting
ping ;he's ping fluding again
finger ralphc ;much more of this and i'm gonna puke
cd ..
cd eyers
cd ..
cd native  ;looking for them tanned boys
irc goon  ;fun
irc goon ;more fun
irc goon    ;too much fun
irc goon :6665 ; oh geez it ain't that hard to irc without a
irc goon
passwd ;my passwd is :If3lcH4g0d
ls\  ;twitch
\    ;twitch
cd ..
cd eyers
ls -al
del .newsrc ;rm'ing all his pornographic evidence with dos commands
rm .newsrc  ;little does zak know, i have his .newsrc and it's right after
            ;this file
ls -la ;making sure there is no p0rn for me to laugh at
cd News
cd ..
exit ;end of zak's .bash_history
alt.2600: 1-9766,9846,9848-9851,9854-9856,9860,9890,9900,9997,10198,10283
;i guess zak likes to talk to ppl from aol and 12 year olds
alt.drugs: ;notice all articles have been read 1-4898,4920,4932-4935,4937,4997,5014,5035,5057,5075,5143,5185,5219,5277,5304,5315,5323-5325,5363! 1-518,525-530,533-534,556-557,560,565-566 1-4897 1-1374,1376-1377,1395,1430,1449,1471
;this one is actually kinda cool and makes my nipples perky 1-2826,2972! 1-1412,1465-1467,1470,1531! 1-1024,1109,1128-1129 1-533 1-1653,1723,1758,1781-1782,1790! 1-141,160,163,166,173
;all p0rn but there is still more
alt.folklore.herbs: ;all read
alt.drugs.psychedelics: ;gee wally, you think the beaver has a drug problem?
alt.drugs.pot: ;don't bogart that joint!! 1-788,807  ;just fucking gross! 1-740,778,792-793,816 ;porn! 1-1125,1151,1155 ;porn
alt.hemp.recreational: 1-31,67 ;hey a druggie newsgroup and it still has
                               ;articles not read! 1-1326 ;firecroch! 1-652,686,735,738 ;beaners!,796 ;my hole is still swolen! 1-1730,1748,1835-1836,1842 1-473,521 ;uh that's just plain wierd 1-75,81 1-29;haha i think greg carson needs a gif in here 1-31 ;pedophile!
alt.binaries.phonecards:  ;K0D3Z!! 1 ;rocky horror picture show ;a pla favorite 1-38  ;I G0T TINA TURNER NEKID!
;end of .newsrc

"I Know About You DefCon Hackers"

A few nights ago me and zak were harassing people like usuall when I came up with a brilliant idea. Lets torture OCI untill they break and go nuts. And so it began, the harassment of OCI.

Abe:* This is Abe may i help you.
dhate: yea, do a kick flip for me
Abe:* uh what was that sir?
dhate: are you deformed or something? I said do a kick flip
Abe:* i can't do that sir
dhate: Why the fuck not? You got a peg leg or something?
Abe:* no sir
dhate: you some kind of mutant or something?
Abe:* no sir
dhate: then do a fucking kickflip
Abe:* i can't sir
dhate: listen here stumpy, i want you to do a flip right now or i'm gonna come down there and ram your stump up your ass!
Abe:* hold on while i transfer you sir
sherry: This is sherry may i help you
dhate: yea i want you to say "go away pla"
sherry: sir can i help you in making a call?
dhate: no i want you to say "go away pla"
sherry: i'm disconnecting the line, thank you for using OCI
Abe:* This is Abe may i help you
dhate: STUMPY! How's it going you mutant bitch
Abe:* sir would you like to make a call
dhate: hey stumpster transfer me you stumpy guy you
sherry: This is sherry how can i assist you?
dhate: you can assist me by giving me a hand job
sherry: excuse me sir?
dhate: just say "go away pla" and we go away
sherry: disconnecting line
claris: This is Claris may i help you
dhate: hi claris you have a lovely voice
claris: uh thank you, can i assist you in making a call
dhate: i love you claris
claris: sir?
dhate: i want to make mad love to you claris
claris: please hold while i transfer you
james: This is james may i help you
dhate: yea you can say "go away pla"
james: i can't do that
james: disconnecting line
stumpy: this is abe may i help you
stumpy: please hold while i transfer you
zak: hit that transfer button with your stump!
james: This is james may i help you
dhate: you can say it bitch
james: fuck off
dhate: say it now
james: go tell your mom she can't suck a good dick
dhate: that wasn't funny there hick boy, now say it
james: disconnecting line
claris: this is claris may i help you
dhate: i love you claris
claris: sir would you like to make a call?
dhate: yes i want to call you at home
claris: sir i'm transfering you
dhate: don't be mad claris, i love youuuuuuuu!
james: Hello again
dhate: heh, say it and we leave you alone
james: i ain't gonna say shit
dhate: say it motherfucker
james: so how's the defcon voice bridge?
dhate&zak: what?
james: i know about you hackers!
zak: we are the hohocon hackers!
dhate: say it bitch
james: disconnecting line
carmen: This is Carmen may i help you?
dhate: Hi Carmen, could you please transfer me to your supervisor.
carmen: sure, please hold
zak: carmen wants it!
james: Hello again
dhate: are you gonna say it now?
james: nope i ain't
dhate: hey jamie don't it suck not having our ani
zak: do you even know what ani stands for there james?
james: fuck off
james: disconnecting line
claris: This is claris may i help you
dhate: i want to mary you
claris: sir, would you please leave me alone
dhate: but claris i love you! i want to hold you forever!
claris: transfering
angela: (in a weary voice) hello this is the oci operator how can i help you
dhate: you can say "go away pla" and i will leave you alone
angela: disconnecting line
stumpy: This is Abe may i help you
stumpy: *sigh*
dhate: doesn't it suck not being able to kill yourself because you have stumps
stumpy: transfering
james: hello again
dhate: heh, you gonna say it now motherfucker
james: i got pictures of you hackers at the tropicana!
dhate: uh ok now say it
james: i was at defcon!
dhate: that's nice now say "go away pla"
james: no
james: disconnecting line
claris: this is claris may i help you
dhate: i am madly in love with you honey
claris: sir..
dhate: don't be mad at me cupcake, i love you
claris: transferring
angela: this is angela may i help you
dhate: you can say it and we will stop calling you
angela: sir i'm not going to say it and don't you have anything better to do then call us up for 2 hours straight?
dhate: nope, that's what makes me a phone looser
angela: disconnecting line

Me and Zak called for another hour. Poor stumpy sounded like he was seriously gonna go commit suicide and claris was just too confused about the whole situation. She almost gave me her number once. Carmen thought i was just peachy keen because i never harassed her. And poor angela kept on ansering the fone and then we finally broke her.
angela: sir please stop calling
dhate: all you have to do is say those three magic words
angela: what did you want me to say?
dhate: go away pla
dhate: thank you, wasn't that hard was it
i thought zak was gonna die he was laughing so hard and now whenever i get angela all i have to do is say "say it" and she does. One of the perks of being a phone looser.

Disneyland Security:

Awhile ago i stumbled upon DisneyLands vmb system. It was fun for a few days but got old real quick since all they talk about is stuffed animals and felching. So i scanned some boxes and found the number to Disneyland security. Which was rather keen i thought. So here is a log of me and Zak harassing the most wonderful place on earth. Oh if you want to harass them too then just dial 714-999-4330 and remember to say that you are Roy.

officer: Disneyland security, may i help you
zak: Yea this is Roy at the tiltawhirl. It seems we have a major problem.
officer: And what is that sir?
zak: One of the tiltawhirl cups went haywire and flew off and landed on some poor old lady. I think she's dead.
officer: Oh is that so?
zak: Yes it is
officer: Sir we don't have a tiltawhirl inside the park. Stop playing on the fone.
zak: No!

officer: Disneyland Security
zak: Hi, this is Roy the janitor.
officer: What can i do for you Roy
zak: There's this guy that is making people watch him take a poo.
officer: He's what?
zak: He's making people watch him take a poo. He just grabs them and shoves their head down there and he takes a poo! Some poor old lady is tramautized.
officer: What did this man look like?
zak: He was 5'7, black hair, black eyes, and he's wearing a trenchcoat.
officer: Ok
zak: He's making people look at his poo for god's sake!
officer: Were did you spot him at?
zak: By it's a small world
officer: We'll send somebody out right now
zak: Thanks!

officer: Disneyland Security
dhate: Hi
officer: uh hello
dhate: we are inside the underground tunnels and you can't do anything about it!
officer: Just what are you doing down there?
dhate: Urinating in the corner
officer: that's all?
dhate: Yup what are you gonna do about it mister!
officer: You aren't terrorists or anything?
dhate: Nope, i'm just a fone loozer!
officer: Can you hold for a moment?
dhate: Sure, i'll give you some time to pull my ani...
officer: Sir, you're not calling from inside the park
dhate: It sure looks like i am
officer: well you aren't
dhate: and just how do you know that?
officer: because it says so right here
dhate: Well read off my ani then
officer: i don't have that yet but if you wait 10 more seconds i will
dhate: 10!
dhate: 9!
dhate: 8!
dhate: 7!
dhate: 6!
dhate: 5!
dhate: 4!
dhate: 3!
dhate: 2!

officer: Disneyland Security
dhate: Yea this is Roy at the castle, some guy is sitting on top of the castle and throwing spam at passerby's! He almost got me that time!
officer: Are you serious?
dhate: Oh quite serious.
dhate: i think you better do something quick.
officer: what do you suggest?
zak: Can you bring out the helicopters and scuba divers?
dhate: don't forget the ninja's!
officer: why would we need all that?
zak: Because the guy is dangerous!
officer: Well just keep on talking to us guys
dhate: why's that?
officer: so we can get your fone number
dhate: why would you want that?
zak: so he can molest us!
officer: just keep on talking funny guys

FAQs You Don't Wanna See

D0uds, these are two of the most ueber faqs i have found in my whole life. They are so elite Mitnick himself would be proud. So read them if you have the time and read them if you don't. These faqs just plain rool.

Last Updated: November 7th, 1995 by ChicknPie


This FAQ is made available to answer some of the most common questions about
zoophilia. If you have any other questions, do not hesitate to ask someone.

Please note that the bulk of this FAQ is borrowed from the ASB FAQ. I've also
changed some of the sections which did not apply to IRC. The ASB FAQ is also
a good resource, as it covers a number of topics that are not covered here.

The ASB FAQ is avaiable from a number of places, including:
   - WWW:   One of several Zoo pages (Try doing a web search on Bestiality or
   - NEWS:  This FAQ is supposed to be posted to once or
            twice a month.
   - EMAIL:

Thanks in advance for reading this, and more importantly, for your interest.

This document is by no means complete. The purpose of this document is to
discuss some of the common questions and answers. Answers to questions of
legality, etc must be found elsewhere.

No one can be held responsible for any actions you take after reading this
FAQ. Period. Use common sence, and don't break and laws (trespassing/etc)
and you should be OK.

1 - What is bestiality?  Zoophilia?
Bestiality is, by textbook definition, sexual contact between a human
being and a non-human animal.  Zoophilia is, by textbook definition,
an emotional attachment to an animal that causes a human being to prefer
a non-human animal as a companion and / or a sexual partner.  These
definitions are generally accepted around here :)  Many zoophiles have
extremely close, emotional relationships with their non-human partners
and many bestialists enjoy the pleasure they can give and receive from
their lovers.

2 - Why is #dogsex and #beastsex here?
#beastsex (abv #BS) and #dogsex (abv #DS) is a permanent channel, meaning it's
there any time of day, and time of the week. The primary topic of discussion
is zoophila, but we talk about just about anything. Most of the channel regulars
are active zoos (short for zoophiles), but non-active zoos and non-zoos are
welcomed as well. We're happy to answer any questions related to inter-species

There are a couple of things that #DS and #BS are *NOT* for:
   - No Netsex (Cybersex, etc..)
   - No Flames
   - No Picture Trading/Begging (try #sexpics instead)

Just remember the basic rules of ediquette apply, and you'll do alright. :)

3 - Do people on this channel actually have sexual relations with animals?
Of course! There are also many here who have not had sexual relationships with
animals but are interested or have questions related to it.

4 - How many people have sex with animals?
[ This section written by Redvane Fox ( ]

There have been various studies but to my mind they are all flawed or
dated. The most famous is that of Alfred Kinsey et al in the late 40's /
early 50's USA which reported that 8 percent of men and 3.5 percent of
women had "on some occasion, had sexual contact with an animal." In
some rural areas, the figures for males were as high as 50 percent.
However, this was a time when the chances of a 16-year-old farmer's son
getting a human partner to do more than hold hands was virtually nil.
Thus, animal contacts would have been more common then than now.  Also,
given the decline of farming in America and Europe and the increasing
urbanisation of populations, I would venture a guess that there are
somewhere in the region of 2 to 4 percent of men have had some sort of
sexual experience with a non-human.  Masters and Johnson reported less
than 2 percent of women had sexual contact with an animal (dogs mainly)
but others have estimated that the true figure was probably higher
(let's face it, if someone comes up to you and asks "Do you fuck
animals?" would you give them a straight answer?)

It's also important to know that for very many people who do have sex
with a non-human in, say, adolescence, they don't carry it on into
adulthood - it's a teenage experiment, part of exploring the wonderful
world of sex. Two of my friends have (over much beer) admitted to me that
they've "played around" with animals when they were teenagers but went on
to have "normal" hetero partnerships (although they both said they had no
regrets and might try it again if the circumstances were right).  Of
people who have had sex with animals once, liked it and stayed or those
whose attraction to animals was there from the very beginning is perhaps
less than 0.1 percent of the population.  To quote Midas Dekker's
"Dearest Pet":

"Earlier in this chapter I estimated the percentage of human beings that
have sexual experiences with animals at a few percent.  If you include
in bestiality only the people who have sex *exclusively* with animals
then the percentage falls far below 1 percent.  Bestiality requires
imagination and people with imagination usually have no flies on them.
On the other hand, if you drop the requirement that for sexual contact
something has to be inserted somewhere and that something has to be
fiddled with and it is sufficient simply to cuddle, to derive a warm
feeling from each other, to kiss perhaps at times, in brief to love,
then bestiality is not a deviation but the general rule, not even
shameful, but the *done thing*.  After all, who does not wish to be
called an animal lover?"

5 - Can I make my animal pregnant by having sex with her?
Absolutely not.  Because of things like chromosome counts, body temperatures
and genetic codes, human animals cannot impregnate other animals.  However,
if you do wind up impregnating your lover, call me immediately!  I could
make, err, make you, a bundle selling your story to the tabloids! *grin*

10 - Where can I find "How To" information
We finally have a 'how to' section of the FAQ!  Okay, it's mostly my
fault for just not editing the stuff I've had wasting away on my hard
drive for the last couple of weeks but, contrary to popular belief, my
entire life does -not- revolve around this place :*  Anyhow, for how to
info, refer to 'How to; Equines.' 'How to; Canines' will be a regular
part of this FAQ by the first of next month.  If you would like to
contribute your own knowledge about the critter of your affections,
please write me to express your interest!

PART 2: Zoophilia and your Health
=============================*A - INTRODUCTION*==============================

Herpes, gonorrhea, genital warts, and syphiliis, four of the most common
sexually transmitted diseases in the world, are all diseases which are
limited to contraction and transmission by humans.  However, it has been
theorized that if a man with a venereal disease were to have sex with an
animal, without the use of a condom, and then another man were to have sex
with that same animal immediately or soon after, that if semen or blood
from the first man were absorbed into the blood stream of the second man,
he may contract a venereal disease.

===================*B - CONTAGIOUS ANIMAL HEALTH DISEASES*===================

1 - Auto-Immune Deficiency Syndrome, (AIDS)
-   ---------------------------------------

Presently, it is not known for sure if Auto-Immune Deficiency Syndrome can
be passed between a human and a non-human animal through sexual
intercourse.  According to the American Veterinary Medical Association,
Feline Infectious Virus, the alleged pre-cursor to Feline AIDS and
equivalent to Human Infectious Virus, (HIV), is not transmittable between
felines and non-feline animals.

2 - Lyme Disease
-   ------------
[ This section written by MegaDog ( ]

Lyme is a disease of humans, dogs, cows, cats, horses, deer and goats,
caused by a Spirochete bacterium, Borrelia bergdorferi. It was first
recognised in the mid-1970's and has been recorded in the USA, Europe,
Central/South America, Japan, the CIS [ex-USSR] and Africa.

Normally, the disease is spread by bites from ticks [Deer tick, Black-legged
tick and Lone-star tick], though fleas have also been implicated, as have

Hunters who handle or come into contact with the blood or hides of infected
deer can become infected; the Borrelia spirochete has been identified in
semen and urine of animals, and there are indications that it may also be
present in saliva. Infection of the fetus via the placenta has been recorded
in both humans and animals.

**Sexual transmission of the disease between humans, or between humans
**and animals, has not *as yet* been conclusively proved, or disproved!

However Borrelia is a Spirochete bacterium, as is Treponema  pallidum, the
causative organism of syphilis.

**You are left to draw your own conclusions as to the *possibility* that
**Lyme may be transmitted sexually.

Symptoms: Humans
These vary. In the case of infection by tick bites, around half the cases
show a rash [called erythema migrans] at the point of bite; this can be
confused with other allergies, rashes, chemical or biological burns etc,
or may go unnoticed if it is on one of the less visible parts of the body.
When the infection is contracted in other ways, the characteristic
bite-site signs may be absent.

Other symptoms resemble flu, and may include:- headache, sore throat, fever,
muscle ache or tenderness, tiredness, insomnia and joint soreness.
Left untreated, these symptoms generally disappear; chronic Borrelosis may
take months or years to develop, and may result in meningitis, muscle pain,
arthritis, numbness, tingling and burning sensations in the limbs,
testicular discomfort, facial paralysis [Bell's Palsy], fatigue, lassitude
and depression.  The heart, eye, reproductive, respiratory system and
gastrointestinal tract may become involved. In this form, the disease may
persist for many years, with periods of remission.

Symptoms: Animals
The rash is rarely seen, being concealed by fur. Symptoms include fever,
arthritis, lameness, soreness, listlessness, loss of appetite [with
consequent weight loss and loss of condition], and swollen joints. The
involvement of major organs or systems is the same as for humans. The
disease may impair reproduction, resulting in sterility, abortion or
stillbirth. In some cases the pain experienced may result in irritability
or behavioural changes, such as a reduction in tractability of horses.
Again, as for humans, the symptoms may be persistent, or show periods of
remission of varying lengths.

The diagnosis of Lyme borrelosis is problematic; as of July 1994, there is
no definitively accurate test for the disease; Repeated tests of blood
from the same individual may show alternating positive and negative Lyme
status. Diagnosis is largely based on the clinical symptoms, the patient's
history, and by eliminating other possible causes of the symptoms.

Antibiotics such as amoxycillin generally provide successful treatment in
humans; success depends on how soon after infection the treatment begins.
Once the later stages of the disease are seen, persistent repeated courses
of medication may be necessary, with no guarantee of success; once treatment
is apparently complete, relapses may occur.


At present, there have been no reports of the evolution of antibiotic-
resistant strains of Lyme.

Risk Reduction
Try to avoid yourself, or your animals, getting bitten by ticks. If you have
visited areas where ticks are present, you should check yourself and your
animals. This may take some time, but the longer an infected tick remains
attached, the greater the chance of Lyme infection being passed.

Check daily for ticks; favorite sites are round the eyes and ears, between
the toes, on the back of the neck, and in the groin/armpit regions. Ticks
may wander around the body for some time [hours, days] before settling on
a bite site, they may also remain hidden on clothing, in animal bedding etc.

If you find ticks, the best way to remove them is using a pair of tick
forceps; these can be bought for a few $ at most pet/animal stores, and are
designed to pull the whole tick out, including the mouthparts. Trying to
pull a tick out using your fingers is *not* recommended; you will squeeze
the body of the tick, which can inject infected blood from the tick back
into the bloodstream. Other ways of removing ticks, involving alcohol,
cigarettes, salt water etc. are not recommended.

Record the location of bite sites, and examine them periodically for some
days, in order to spot any signs of the characteristic Lyme-disease rash.

Keep the ticks for identification. If Lyme symptoms develop, it may be
necessary to identify the species of tick involved. Either place them in a
small container with some alcohol, or trap them between two layers of
clear adhesive tape.

Understand, and be able to recognise, the symptoms of first-stage infection
both in humans and animals.

If your animals show symptoms, as well as consulting a veterinarian, you
should consult a physician. The reverse also applies; if you show symptoms,
inform your vet and get your animals checked.

Avoid, as far as possible, contact with or exchange of body fluids [urine,
blood, semen, saliva] between animals or humans that are, or may be,
infected. This is particularly important if you have any cuts, grazes or
other injuries to parts of your body that may come into contact with the
other person/animal's body fluids.

Adopt "safer sex" practises; Remember there may also be invisible internal
damage to mucous membranes of the mouth, anus, vagina or penis/urethra,
all of which can provide possible paths for infection by a wide range of
sexually transmissible diseases.

More Information
If you have access to an Internet 'Gopher' you can access further
information by searching on 'lyme', 'borrelosis' or 'borrelia'.

Additional information can be obtained from state health departments,
veterinarians, physicians, or the Lyme Disease Foundation, Inc. [P.O. Box
462, Tolland, Connecticut 06084].

There is also an electronic mail digest called 'The LymeNet Newsletter',
where current research is discussed. To receive this automatically, you
should send e-mail as follows:-

        Subject:                (leave this blank......)

The first [and only] line of your e-mail should contain the text:-

        subscribe lymenet-l *your full name*

{Do not send a signature file on your message; the listserver may barf!}

There is little if any authoritative information on whether
Lyme can be transmitted by sex. Conflicting opinions abound, definitive
answers are few! Understand the nature of the disease, and the
possibilities for transmission, then make an informed decision for
yourself, and take risk-reducing steps where you think necessary.

3 - Toxoplasma
-   ----------
[ This section compiled by Equuinox, ( ]

From _Foundations of Parasitology_ (Schmidt/Roberts 1989)

Toxoplasma is an intracellular parasite of many kinds of tissues, including
muscle and intestinal epithelium...Oocysts appear in the cats feces from 3
to 5 days after infection by cysts. The most common symptoms of acute
toxoplasmosis is painful, swollen lymph glands in the cervical,
supraclavicular, and inguinal regions.  This symptom may be associated with
fever, headache, muscle pain, anemia, and sometimes lung complications.
This syndrome can be mistaken easily for the flu.  Acute infection can,
although rarely does, cause death...In the immunocompetent person T. gondii
ordinarily is kept at bay by cell-mediated immunity...Presently T. gondii
is a serious opportunistic infection in AIDS.

The most tragic form of this disease is congenital toxoplasmosis.  If a
mother contracts acute toxoplasmosis at the time of her child's conception
or during pregnancy, the organisms will often infect her developing fetus.
Fortunately, most neonatal infections are asymptomatic, but a significant
number cause death or disability to newborns...The transmission rate to the
fetus from a maternal infection is about 45%.  Of those infected, about 60%
will be subclinical, 9% may die, and 30% may suffer severe damage such as
hydrocephalus, intracerebral calcification, retinochoroiditis, and mental

Feral and domestic cats will continue to be a source of infections in
humans...Any cat, no matter how well fed and protected, may be passing
oocysts of Toxoplasma, although for only a few days after infection.  The
possibilities are particularly alarming if someone in the house becomes
pregnant.  Certainly, a woman who knows she is pregnant should never empty
the litterbox or clean up after the cat's occasional indiscretion. Also,
because children's sandboxes become a haven for neighborhood cats, they
should have tightly-fitting covers.  This will also protect children from
larva migrans from hookworm and ascaridoid juveniles...Pyrimethamine and
sulfonamides given together are widely used drugs against Toxoplasma.

4 - Urinary Tract Infections, (UTIs)
Urinary Tract Infections are caused by gram negative bacteria which may be
found in the vagina of female animals.  GN Bacteria are known to cause
yeast infections, metritis, and pyometria in female animals and can lead to
cystitis, urethritis, or pyelonephritis in human males.  Symptoms of a UTI
include frequent urination, pain when urinating, and blood and/or pus in
ones' urine.  UTIs may be contracted when having sex with a female animal
in or out of season though they are more likely to cause a UTI when in
season because of the hospitability of the female reproductive system to
bacteria during this time.  UTIs are easily cured with antibiotics.

5 - Canine Brucellosis
-   ------------------
Canine Brucellosis, caused by the bacteria brucella canis, can be trans-
mitted to male humans by female carriers during sex.  Female canines with
CB show a loss of vigor, enlargement of the lymph nodes and, occasionally,
the spleen.  Commonly, CB will only cause a human male to experience
fever symptoms though one case has been documented where CB has caused
sterility.  Signs of severe infection in human males may include a UTI,
scrotal dermatitis, or diminution of the testicles; testicular atrophy.
Those showing severe symptoms should consult a physician immediately.

6 - Parasites
-   ---------
Parasites such as tapeworms, hookworms, ringworms, and coccidia may be
contracted through sexual contact with an animal.  The most common way of
contracting parasites from an animal is from oral/anal and genital/anal
contact.  Animals with parasites may suffer from nausea, listlessness,
and increased appetite or thirst.  A simple test of the animals' stool
done at your local veterinarians will show whether or not the animal has
worms.  Treatment for both humans and animals is often simple and only
involves the taking of medication.

PART 3: How-To (Equines)
[ This section written by Equuinox ( ]

================*A - HOW TO HAVE MORE FUN WITH YOUR STALLION*================

So-o-o-o, maybe you've thought about trying to make it with a
stallion...after all, they sure look like a good time.  Here's a few tips
on how to make the experience more rewarding for both of you.

1) Find a stallion: preferably somewhere where no one will hear him
   grunting and snorting, and come to investigate...Older stallions are
   better; they are more sensible, and less likely to spaz out and hurt
   someone.  Don't even bother with the ones who are half-crazy already, they
   only get worse when stimulated.

2) The Approach: Quietly walk up to about 10' from him and stop. Let him
   come to you to investigate. Move very slowly, so as not to startle him,
   and let him sniff you over...gently pet his neck and withers and murmer
   encouraging words -win his trust-.  At this point it is helpful to smell
   like a mare in does wonders for their libido.

3) Smell like an estrus mare:  Find a mare in heat, usually 5-6 days out
   of every 21 (i know it aint that easy).  Approach as in 2) her
   flanks and work your way slowly back to rub her tush, and base of her
   tail.  Watch her ears...if she resents this contact she will flatten them
   back, and swish her tail...further pursuit could lead to being kicked.  If
   the mare does not seem to object, GENTLY dip a finger into her vulva,
   getting her natural aroma on your hands...some mares will not cooperate
   and move away from the contact... remember, that is their choice.  If the
   mare tolerates your advances, continue to massage her privates...if she
   really responds well (by raising her tail and squatting), you can
   try...oh, yeah...that's for my followup article soon to come "How to have
   more fun with your mare"

4) Restraint: yes, it's a good idea.  Some studs get overly excited and
   react by kicking, biting and/or trying to mount you, all of which are no
   fun unless yer into S and M too...(although a quick nip on the rump can be
   fun).  Take a halter and lead rope and tie him to a stout object using a do know how to tie a slipknot, don't you?  If not, see yer
   local cub scouts for lessons.  The reason for the slipknot is to be able
   to release him instantly if there's a problem.

5) The Rub:  Let the stallion smell the nice, fresh mare odor on your
   hands- he should respond with snorts, whinneys and (hopefully) an
   erection.  Starting with his neck, pet him gently, massaging his withers
   and slowly working your way back to his belly and privates.  Some studs
   will get kinda twitchy at this point, swish their tails and kick- stay
   close to his body, and away from his rear to be safe...avoid being mashed
   into the stall walls by his body.  If he starts to act up quit
   immediately, calm him down, and start again from the beginning of this

6) Clean and Jerk:  Unless the horse is seeing active service his penis is
   probably covered with a layer of smegma, dead skin flakes,
   doesn't taste great, nor is terribly useful for lubricating purposes.
   Wash him up with clean water or -gently- rub the accumulations from his
   shaft. Apply lube.. K-Y works well.  I've found its best to rub the shaft
   till he's fully-erect, then transfer your attention to the head of the
   penis.  Maintaing a steady pressure on the sensitive glans penis, let him
   do the thrusting...they usually won't come unless they can thrust-meet his
   strokes with your own movements.  Use your own shameless imagination from
   this point...again being careful of kicks, love-bites, etc.

========================*B - HELPFUL TIPS; STALLIONS*========================

1) Wear steel-toed boots to protect your toes from being stomped on.

2) Most Stallions quickly learn to enjoy this stuff, and will come to bug you
   for more in the future.  If they resent this type of contact, don't try to
   force it or you risk getting creamed...I've seen 'em kick a stall door
   clean off its hinges

3) A little lube is helpful...i usually carry a 3:2 mix of KY and water in a
   contact lens cleaner bottle... a little more discreet than big tubes of

4) DO NOT get under him or stick yer face down there unless you absolutely
   know and trust him...some stallions will try to lie down on top of you
   (squii-i-ish!), or kick suddenly and cost you a lot of expensive dental

5) Wear a safety helmet- I know it sounds weird, but their hooves are like
   rocks and can easily crush your skull.  A broken head can ruin a
   friendship, so its a good idea to wear a helmet (of course, if you get
   caught playing with him you'd look REALLY SILLY wearing a helmet but
   "better safe than dead" Ialways say).

6) Did he come?  Well, when a staliion comes, the tip of his penis (the
   glans) swells up (flares) into a mushroom shape the size of your fist or
   bigger...  he'll thrust a couple more times then ejaculate 3-4 ounces of
   semen with enough force to shoot 5 feet.  His semen is whitish and runny
   like eggwhite...  do not confuse with pre-ejaculate, which is watery and
   clear....he will drip copious amounts of this before he comes.

NOTE: Those of you into anal/vaginal NOT attempt to put his penis
into you unless you can already accomodate something the size of a human
arm and risk rupture, and peritonitis if he's too big (plus it'd
be real hard to explain what happened to the emergency room staff :*)

ALWAYS REMEMBER: A stallion is an unpredictable animal...he may be fine one
minute, then explode into 1200 pounds of biting, kicking horseflesh. He may
be enjoying himself but he doesn't know his own strength and can disable or
kill you without meaning to.  If you aren't familiar with the proper
handling of equines I strongly urge you to find someone who does to help
you the first time (I know that's tough to do, but its for both of your

DISCLAIMER:  I've been having fun with equines for 14 years, and I've never
been hurt badly...just bruises, ya gotta play by their rules...This Guide
is not meant to be all-encompassing.  The author of this article DOES NOT
encourage you the reader to to perform illegal activities (including
trespassing) in the pursuit of your pleasure.

This article may be freely reproduced as long as I get credit for it.

==================*B - HOW TO HAVE MORE FUN WITH YOUR MARE*==================

Well, maybe you tried the stallion, and mebbe you haven't.  This article
is for those of you who might be interested in mares, but haven't had the
opportunity to make the most out of the situation...

1) Find a Mare:  Easier said than done, sometimes!  Locate a likely
   recipient to your advances and get to know her...spend lots of time
   scratching her withers and tickling her, share breath and build her trust
   with you-even the most receptive mares won't have anything to do with
   someone they don't feel at ease with.  Get to know her on a more personal

2) Determine if she's in heat:  Most (not all, but most) mares are totally
   unreceptive to sexual advances when they are not in estrus.  In mares the
   cycle is 21 days on average...16 out, then 5-6 days in, with the mare
   getting progressively more "hot" till she ovulates and goes out of heat
   about 12 hours later.  Most mares will not go out of their way to show
   estrus signs to humans unless already accustomed to sexing with them.  The
   best way to get her to show signs is by exposing her to a stallion or
   particularly randy gelding.  This is caused "teasing" the mare in the
   breeding business, and is when the stallion does his screaming, snorting,
   prancing thing to show off...just like many college freshmen.  The estrus
   mare should respond by raising her tail, squatting and emitting a stream
   of urine.  She will also "wink" at contracting her vaginal
   muscles and exposing her clitoris.  Wink...wink...wink. get the
   idea.  The clitoris in the mare looks like a half-dollar-size replica of
   the stallions glans is located at the bottom of the vaginal
   opening.  The mare will usually stand quietly in the squatting position
   until bred.

   If the mare responds to the stud by laying her ears back, biting, kicking,
   etc.'s a pretty safe bet to say she's not in heat and you should try
   again later.  Since some folks don't have access to stallions, there are
   some other signs of estrus including:

        A) Their labia tend to get fuller and looser...if you pull them
           apart (carefully, don't get kicked!) you will see that the vaginal
           lining is cherry-red, in contrast to its normal ruddy pink color.
           There will also be greater-than-usual amounts of lubrication

        B) The cervix is loose and drapes down in folds when in
           estrus...when not, it's tight and budlike in appearance...
           (this one's no good unless you have access to and know how to use
           a vaginal speculum...ask yer vet to show you a cervix sometime...
           it looks like a little pink flower).

        C) Some inexperienced mares will even respond to a human's
           advences if you can role-play well...sniff at her rump, snort,
           "bite" her flanks by pinching gently (or just go on ahead an' bite
           her!), tickle her and massage her external genitalia...mebbe
           gently insert a finger or three...if she responds, then she's
           ready -if she puts up a fuss or tries to walk away then leave her
           be.  She's obviously not interested, and further attention of that
           nature will probably just piss her off and make her resent future
           advances.  However, if she seems to like what's going on you may

3) Proceed with Caution:  Lube up and. using your fingers, tongue or any
   other portion of your anatomy that feels good to you both, proceed to
   pleasure her... move in and out of her with deep, slow strokes.  I have
   noticed that the "hot spot" in mares is not the clitoris, but about 2-3
   inches in on the bottom wall of the vagina just anterior (towards her
   head) to the urethral opening- they respond very favorably to massage
   there.  It is possible to (gently!) insert your arm into her and slowly
   fist her, feeling how beautifully warm, soft and slippery her pussy is (my
   mare LOVES this).  When they are ready to be bred they will usually be
   quite loose inside, and it's possible to reach all the way to the back
   wall of the vagina and her cervix.  As you stimulate her she will then
   begin to slowly clamp down on your arm with her vagina.  Move with the
   contractions and you will find her squeezing harder and harder as she
   approaches orgasm (yes, contrary to some studies I've read, mares DO
   experience orgasm, and how!).  She will often squeeze with enough force to
   push your arm right back out...don't try to jam it back in or you could
   injure her...just continue to use your hand to massage the vestibule of
   the vagina as she contracts harder and harder.  At this point my mare will
   usually begin to grunt in time to the contractions (sounds like OOOF!)
   until her climax is over, then she will pull away.  Maregasm is usually
   accompanied by a stream of urine and natural lubricants, so be careful not
   to get soaked unless you're also into water sports. *Personal note for the
   morbidly curious* I usually work my mare with my hand to the point where
   she starts to contract, then climb on up and use my penis to finish the feels great when they clamp down...they have amazing muscle

   When they are done coming they will usually pick themselves up and move
   away for a bit, then be ready to go again in five minutes or so.  I have
   whiled away many a happy hour bringing my mare to orgasm over and
   over...they have incredible stamina and it's fun for both of us.  When
   you're both done, give her a pat on the neck, thank her and talk nice to
   her- don't just take what you want and leave...cuz if yer nice she'll
   remember you and be even more receptive next time.

==========================*C - HELPFUL TIPS; MARES*==========================

1) Wear heavy boots to protect your toes.

2) Keep in close to her body...if she decides to kick you'll be harder to
   hit, and you can feel her tense-up before she decides to let ya have it.

3) It's a _real_ good idea to wash your hands and the mare's pubes before
   you go putting things into her...dirt/feces can carry bacteria that can
   cause her some real problems...use a mild soap like Ivory(tm) Liquid, and
   plenty of clean water to rinse...most mare's natural defenses can take
   care of the problem on their own, but there's no sense taking risks with
   her health if they can be avoided.

4) File your fingernails short n' smooth...a mare's vagina is very
   delicate, and it's easy to injure her if you're not careful.  Don't put
   any foreign objects in her, carrots or anything like that!

5) NEVER, EVER stick anything into/through her cervix- you can give her
   a nasty uterine infection, and if she=D5s pregnant breaking the cervical
   plug means a high probability of aborting the foal, as well as
   complications for the mare.

6) In the Northern Hemisphere about 90% of mares will go completely out of
   heat between the months of Nov-Mar.  This is called seasonal anestrus, and
   is a natural response to a decreased photoperiod.  Putting them under
   artificial lighting can help hasten return to normal estrus cycles...there
   are a number of good texts on the subject.

7) Oh, yeah...If she's a big mare, you will need a bucket or stool to
   stand on. ..of course, you knew that :*) *dodges thrown tomatoes*

8) Be careful not to get hurt...horses can be unpredictable.

DISCLAIMER:  This Guide is not meant to be all-encompassing...Mail me if
you have questions. ..The author of this article DOES NOT encourage you,
the reader to perform illegal activities (including trespassing) in the
pursuit of your pleasure.

                      BE SAFE--BE CONSIDERATE--HAVE FUN


----------------------*A. GUIDE TO SEX WITH BITCHES*-------------------------
1 - Getting Started
-   ---------------
The female dog normally comes on her first heat between the ages of nine and
fifteen months.  Attempting intercourse with her at this time is not
recommended since these changes in her biochemistry are confusing enough
without having you trying to do wierd things to her.  I would strongly
suggest waiting until her second heat if all appears normal.

2 - The right bitch for you
-   -----------------------
As a rule of thumb, a dog the size of your average German Shepherd Dog is
large enough to comfortably accomodate your average sized human male.
However, this is not always true.  I will go into further detail about signs
of discomfort and warning signs later.  Saint Bernards, Great Danes,
Newfoundlands and other huge breeds should have no problems accomodating
a human male.

3 - Prepararation is the key!
-   -------------------------
In preparing to have sex with your dog, you'll need to run down to the local
drug store and pick up a few things.  Namely; KY Jelly, (do NOT use a petro-
leum or oil based lubricant.).  Wet and Astro Glide, both of which can be
found at your local adult shop, work as well.  Also, if you're near a
medical or veterinary supply, surgical lubricants are good too; latex gloves.
If you're going to be messing around with a stray dog or a dog you do not
own it doesn't hurt to rubber up!  You can get infections or a fever from
bitches with vaginal infections or brucellosis, (see the Health section of
the F.A.Q. for more information on this topic); condoms.  If sharing a dog
or picking up a stray, protect yourself.  Although dogs do not carry AIDS,
it has been theorized that the virus could survive long enough inside a
bitches' vagina long enough for you to contract it, or anything else, if
you have sex with her immediately after an infected person.  Remember also
that if she has a yeast or bacterial infection, you could get it too;
surgical soap.  If you know the bitch is in good health and you'd like to
insert whatever strikes your fancy into her, I recommend you clean it
thoroughly.  A bitches' vagina is a very vascular area and, especially when
in heat, is quite susceptable to infection; nail clippers.  Nails could
carry dirt on them or scratch the delicate inner lining of a bitches'
vagina.  Cut them nails down and file them.  You'll also look stunning with
your new manicure :); and lastly, MilkBones!  Buy these with everything
else if you really want to squick the counter people :)

4 - In the trenches
-   ---------------
Once you've got your bitch and your supplies, it's time to get to work.  I
do not suggest attempting sex with a bitch out of season, especially if she
is not your dog.  You may wind up getting bit, which may mean changing your
name to John Wayne Bobbitt.  A bitch in heat is your best bet, but just
because she's wet and smells nice doesn't mean she's 'in the mood.'  How
can you tell if she's in the mood?  Check the discharge.  The discharge of
a bitch in 'Standing Heat' should be pinkish / creamy white.  This cycle
lasts for between seven and nine days and is in the middle of the complete
heat cycle.

If the discharge is a dark, blood red, she's just coming into or going out
of heat.  It never hurts to try but DO NOT force her.  She may say no the
first time.  Bitches are known to tease and may jump forward or fall over
in front of you.  However, if she reacts hostily to you, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

Definate signs that a bitch is receptive are; Flagging--raising of the tail
over the back exposing the genitals, Soliciting--rubbing her butt in your
crotch, sitting on your face, etcetera, and Play Posing--being excessively
playful, jubilant, etcetera.

Once you're both consenting, you may consider some foreplay.  Fingering her
will bring you both hours of joy and amusement :)  The bitches' "clitoris"
is located about 3/4-1" (in large breeds) into the vagina.  The clitoral
ridge is fairly prominant so easy to find.  Rubbing this will cause her to
start thrusting and she'll love you for every moment of it.  If she's your
dog or if you're certain she's healthy, you may want to engage in some
'puppylingus.'  Most bitches have a bitter-sweet taste when in standing
heat and I definately recommend the aroma.

With all teasing done, it's time to start your engines!  The vagina of a
female dog takes a sharp turn upward so you will have to enter from a
seventy-five to eighty degree angle.  The average body temperature of a
dog is 101-102 degrees Fahrenheit so expect her to very hot and moist.
I don't believe I need to tell you what to do from here on in *grin*.

5 - Out of heat and spayed bitches
-   ------------------------------
If the bitch is your own you may want to try her out of heat.  The same
rules apply except be sure and use an excessive amount of lube and be very
careful.  You can do a lot of damage if you try and force her and that'll
be a difficult one to explain to the vet.

Most spayed bitches cannot have intercourse because of the removal of their
reproductive organs.  They do not come into heat and very few show interest
in sex.  You can try 'fingering' a spayed bitch of 'puppylingating' her but
intercourse is strongly advised against unless you have extensive experience.

6 - Anal Sex
-   --------
The same rule of thumb for size applies to anal sex as well.  There are
some dogs that like anal sex, others that tolerate it, and those that can't
stand it.  Most dogs will not be immediately comfortable with anal sex but
if you choose to continue, instructions on how to do so follow.  If your
dog reacts with an expression of pain or anger, STOP IMMEDIATELY.  Your
dog is not suited for anal intercourse.

Start by touching the anal area of your dog and let them get comfortable
with it.  Do not dive right in and insert anything.  Wait until they
freely alow you to touch under their tail.  Be patient.  While touching
around their tail, wear gloves.  Numerous worms and bacteria which can
cause a variety of illnesses can be found in dog feces.  NEVER MAKE ORAL
CONTACT WITH A DOG'S ANUS.  The result could be a nasty infection or a
case of tape, ring, or hookworms, among others.  Once your dog is
comfortable with you feeling around their anus, try inserting a VERY well
lubricated, gloved finger.  Do this over and over again until your dog
seems comfortable with it.  Once again, if your dog seems to be in pain
or react violently, STOP and DON'T try again.  Gradually increase the
number of gloved, well lubricated fingers you use until the number of
fingers inserted comfortably represents the width of your penis.  You
may then attempt anal intercourse with your dog.

Remember; 1.) Not every dog enjoys anal sex.  The majority do not,
2.) Always rubber up and never have oral contact with the anus and
3.) STOP IMMEDIATELY if your dog shows signs of pain or discomfort.
If you notice worms in your dog's stool, bring your dog to the vet with
a stool sample.

Merry Matings!

-----------------------*B. GUIDE TO SEX WITH DOGS*---------------------------
There are three types of sex possible with male dogs to be covered in this
FAQ; anal, oral and docking.

1 - Anal sex with dogs; On the receiving end
-   ----------------------------------------
Most male dogs are more than happy to mount you and "fuck you silly."  Some
are less enthusiastic than others.  There are dangers to being mounted by a
male dog though.

First, one must understand the anatomy of the male canine reproductive
system.  A dog's penis is unlike that of a human's.  The appearance,
texture and sensitivity are much different.  Working from the tip back,
the end of a dog's penis is somewhat blunt with a slight angle.  It
typically swells to it's greatest shaft width along the first 2/5 then
gradually tapers until you reach the bulb at the base of the exposed,
unsheathed penis.  The bulb, (bulbous glandis) is a large swelling at
the base of the penis which consumates the tie between a bitch and a dog
during sex.  On a German Shepherd Dog, it's normally about three to three
and a half inches wide, a plenty good handful for most.  If you're going
to have sex with a male dog, the bulb and the Os Penis are your main
concerns.  The Os Penis is a bone inside the shaft of a dog's penis.  If
he gets overly excited and starts thrusting rapidly, you could get jabbed
with it and, if you do, trust me, you won't sit comfortably for days.

If you allow a dog to mount you there is a definate chance that you may
tie with him--that the bulb, (also known as the knot) will swell inside
of you and keep you two stuck together.  If you do not prepare yourself,
you could be in for fifteen to thirty minutes of agony.  Start loosening
yourself up using whatever you can fit up your anus.  Graduated dildos
work very well and are available at most adult stores.  Wait until you
are comfortable with at least a three inch circumference before taking
on a dog.

To get a dog to mount you, grasp his sheath gently and start rubbing the base
of it, near his ballsac.  He should, at that time, start thrusting.  Some
dogs will try and mount you right then and there.  Remember, if it's his
first time, he'll need some guidance.  Even some old pro's need guidance.
If he does not try to get on your back, try pulling him up and jerking him
off as he 'stands' behind you.  If he does not want to get on your back, try
laying on your back, legs hanging off of a couch or bed, and have him lay
on top of you, on your belly, and try it that way.  Once you've got him to
mount you, attempt to guide his penis into you.  Remember, if he misses,
that os penis can hurt.  Once inside of you, you can lave most of what's
left up to him.  If he ties with you it is imperetive he NOT pull out of
you until he starts getting softer.  Otherwise, you may have one hell of
a story to tell at the Emergency Room!

Once tied, the dog will probably try and turn around so that you're butt
to butt with him.  This is an instinctual behaviour.  If he starts trying
to pull out or panics, grab whichever legs you can and try and hold him
against you so he doesn't pull out.  It is a very good idea to have someone
else present the first time you tie a dog in case of an emergency.

Sit back, enjoy fifteen to thirty minutes of elation, then, once he starts
getting softer, let him pull out of you.  Do not lick his penis or touch it
with your bare hands.  Not only will it be very sensitive but there will be
bacteria on his penis that can make you ill.  However, it will not affect

For females...
The same applies to females for anal and vaginal sex.  Those females who
have spoken up about vaginal sex with male dogs have both said volumes of
praise about their canine companions and stated having little to no problem
accomodating the bulb.

Some dogs may not want to mount or show an interest in mounting.  Others
will never tie, only sit inside of you.  There are also dogs that don't
turn when they are, or are not, tied.  It all depends on the individual

2 - Anal sex with dogs; Giving
-   --------------------------
The same written in the section on bitches applies to dogs.  Refer to
Anal Sex (Number Six) above for further information.

3 - Oral sex with dogs; On the receiving end
-   ----------------------------------------
Some dogs are natural born lickers and will lick anything and keep licking
until whatever their licking is raw.  Others will never lick anything in
their lives.  Once again, dogs as individuals will each act differently in
different situations.  The best way to find out how your dog will react is
to give it a shot.  If your dog is not too enthusiastic about licking,
try using gravy, peanut butter or any other treats you dog might enjoy.
DO NOT use chocolate based products or chocolate as large amounts of
chocolate can be toxic for dogs.  Both males and females alike have
testified to the pleasures to be derived from oral sex with dogs.

4 - Oral sex with dogs; Giving
-   --------------------------
A dog's penis is very sensitive so be careful when handling it.  When
exposed, the penis is prone to dry out if not constantly wet.  Spit works
well.  Try and avoid smeering it on with your hand.  Using your tongue is
much more fun anyways :)

To get a dog aroused, use the same process as described above.  Grasp the
sheath near it's base, close to the dog's ballsac, and start rubbing
rapidly.  You will be able to feel the bulb become more defined within
the sheath and you must pull the sheath back before it get's too large to
fit out the slit.  Otherwise, your dog will be uncomfortable until his
erection subsides.  When thrusting, you can either take the dog's penis
into your mouth or coninue to rub beind the knot.  You must be very careful
if you choose to take the dog's penis into your mouth, remembering how
sensitive it is and keeping him from scraping his member on your teeth.

Once fully erect, experiment!  Most dogs will just stand and pant away
happily as you lick, suck, or rub their cocks.  Expect him to stay hard
for five to fifteen minutes on average.

Dog cum is quite tasty, usually bitter sweet, and continues to shoot from
the time he's about half hard and coming out of his sheath to the time when
he starts going back into his sheath.  Refer to the chart below for semen
volume counts.

5 - Oral sex with dogs; Neutered males
-   ----------------------------------
Most neutered males lack any interest in having sex.  Some are capable of
maintaining a half-erection for a short period of time and ejaculating
prostatic fluid.  If you encounter a neutered male and try masturbating
him, stop if he seems uncomfortable.  Some will be, some won't be, but
don't expect a neutered male to behave like an un-neutered male.  He won't.

6 - Docking
-   -------
Docking is the insertion of the penis into the sheath or muzzle of a dog.
Once again, tolerance to these activities all depends on the dog.  I
normally strongly discourage docking muzzles.  It is exceptionally danger-
ous and could result in some hard to explain hospital visits.  If docking
the sheath, see how your dog reacts to having a well lubricated finger
stuck in his sheath.  If he doesn't seem to mind, try inserting several
well lubricated fingers, one at a time, until you've adequately represented
the width of your own penis.  If he continues not to mind, you can try
inserting your penis into his sheath.  Be sure and use plenty of lube. You
may want ot flush his sheath first with a water enema or a douche. There
are a number of dead skin cells and bacteria inside the sheath which could
cause urinary tract or other types of infections.

Merry Matings!

7 - What does dog semen have in it?
-   -------------------------------
[ This section compiled by Dogzoo ( ]

Volume;============================ 7-10 cc with a variation from 0.5 to 20cc
Water percentage;=========== 97% (highest of animals) vs. man at 90% (lowest)

Ash, protein, lipids, potassium, sodium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus,
iron, chlorides, sulphur, amino acids, albumins, proteoses,
nucleoproteins, mucin, albumoses, fat globules, thiamin, riboflavin,
pantothenic acid, niacin, ascorbic acid, (Vitamin C) enzymes and fructose.

Prostate fluid is highly alkaline, which neutralizes acids in the bitches'
vagina.  Naturally, larger dogs produce more semen than smaller breeds.

Reference; "Vet obstetrics and genital diseases," S. Roberts,
            Edwards Brothers Publishing

8 - How large is a dog's penis?
-   ---------------------------
[ This section compiled by Doglover ( ]

Breed________________Useable Length (inches)________________Diameter (inches)
Cocker Spaniel====== 2.0-3 ================================ 0.5-1
Greyhound=========== 2.5-3 ================================ 0.5-1
Bulldog============= 2.5-5 ================================ 1
Dalmatian=========== 3-4.5 ================================ 1
Collie============== 4-5 ================================= 1
Labrador============ 4-6 ================================== 1
Irish Setter======== 4-6 ================================== 1
German Shepherd===== 5-7 ================================== 1.5
Great Dane========== 5-7 ================================== 1.5
Saint Bernard======= 7-9 ================================== 1.5-1.75
Mastiff============= 7.5 ================================== 1.5-1.75

    ____    __    _______    ____    __    _______    ____    __    _______
    \ \ \  /  \  / _____/    \ \ \  /  \  / _____/    \ \ \  /  \  / _____/
     \ \ \/ /\ \/ /____       \ \ \/ /\ \/ /____       \ \ \/ /\ \/ /____
      \ \  /  \  / ___/        \ \  /  \  / ___/        \ \  /  \  / ___/
       \ \/ /\ \/ /             \ \/ /\ \/ /             \ \/ /\ \/ /
        \__/  \__/               \__/  \__/               \__/  \__/


The World Wrestling Federation and the WWF are registered trademarks of
Titan Sports.

Version 3.1 FAQ.  Last modified on August 16th, 1995.

*** T A B L E  O F  C O N T E N T S ***
"I can't believe what I just saw!"

DISCLAIMER ....... "Is that legal?"
WHAT'S NEW ....... "What a ripoff!"
INTRODUCTION ..... "Anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation"
CHARACTER PROFILES "It's a total debacle!"
CONTROLS ......... "Somebody call security!"
BASIC MOVES ...... "I think he's cheering for me, McMahon!"
CONCEPTS ......... "He can't get up from that!"
FEATURES ......... "I can't believe he pulled that off!"
BUGS ............. "What a moron!"
RUMOR MILL ....... "I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that one!"
THROWS ........... "He got exactly what he deserves!"
REVERSING THROWS . "Wait a minute!"  "Quick reversal!"
COMBOS ........... "Incredible combination move!"
STRATEGIES ....... "Un-be-liev-able!"
CHARACTERS ....... "He can't get away with that!"
DESIGNERS ........ "Put 'er there, pal!"
CONCLUSION ....... "Aw, that was cheap!"
CREDITS .......... "This is a complete disaster!"

*** D I S C L A I M E R ***
"Is that legal?"

This document is copyrighted and can be distributed free of charge.  This
document is not to be sold for profit nor to be printed for sale without
the expressed, written consent from the author.  If distributed, please
indicate credit where credit is due.  Any infringements upon this agreement
will result in libel and legal actions may be sought.  Electronic Gaming
Monthly (EGM), are you listening?

*** W H A T ' S  N E W ***
"What a ripoff!"

This game was released nationwide on July 28, 1995 (dedicated) and is now
beginning to slowly appear across the country.  Lots of new things have been
found including the following:

* Fatalities!!  The Undertaker has a fatality!

* More info on charging up your combo meter!

* Bigger, better combos!

* Strategies on how to win at WWF!

* Correction on who really is Doink

*** I N T R O D U C T I O N ***
"Anything can happen here in the World Wrestling Federation!"

There are (only) 8 characters to choose from.  They are as follows:

1) Doink The Clown
2) Razor Ramon
3) The Undertaker
4) Yokozuna
5) Shawn Michaels
6) Bam Bam Bigelow
7) Bret "The Hit-Man" Hart
8) Lex Luger

Yes, I am also aware that other wrestlers should have made this game.  Big
Daddy Cool Diesel, The 1-2-3 Kid, Jeff Jarrett, and Sid are a few that come
to mind.  Any of these over Doink, no doubt.  But, hey, I don't call the
shots, and when the game was in development, I wsa informed that these were
the top wrestlers at the time or so the programmers thought.

The character selection screen is as follows:

|                |                |
| Doink          | Razor Ramon    |
|                |                |
|                |                |
| The Undertaker | Yokozuna       |
|                |                |
|                |                |
| Shawn Michaels | BamBam Bigelow |
|                |                |
|                |                |
| Bret Hart      | Lex Luger      |
|                |                |

Also as with the Mortal Kombat series, random select is Up+Start.  It says
at the top, "CALLA RANDPER" short for call a random person, I suppose.
It would seem to make better sense if it said "RANDOM SELECT" or something more

You can also do a manual palette swap.  To change color for your character,
hold the joystick to the left or right (depending on which character you
choose) and hit one of the buttons other than block.  If you choose Doink,
The Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, or Bret Hart, you hold the stick to the left
and hit a button.  And with Razor Ramon, Yokozuna, BamBam Bigelow, and Lex
Luger, you would hold the stick to the right.  I don't have a handy list of
all the colors for all the fighters yet, so go play with this one.  Not worth
my time to record all the colors.

*** C H A R A C T E R  P R O F I L E S ***
"It's a total debacle!"

Doink The Clown
  Real Name: Matt Osborne (original Doink), NOT Ray Lichicelli (current Doink)
  Height: ???      Origin: ??
  Weight: 235      Alias: ??

Razor Ramon
  Real Name: Scott Hall
  Height: 6'7"     Origin: Miami, FL
  Weight: 270      Alias:  The Bad Guy

The Undertaker
  Real Name: Mark Callaway
  Height: 6'11"    Origin: Death Valley, CA (naturally)
  Weight: 328      Alias:  ??

  Real Name: Rodney Anoia
  Height: 6'1"     Origin: The Polynesian Islands
  Weight: 600+     Alias:  that really big guy  :P

Shawn Michaels
  Real Name: Michael Hickenbottom
  Height: 6'2"     Origin: San Antonio, TX
  Weight: 230      Alias:  The Heartbreak Kid

Bam Bam Bigelow
  Real Name: Scott Bigelow
  Height: ??       Origin: Asbury Park, NJ
  Weight: 400      Alias:  ??

Bret Hart
  Real Name: Bret Hart
  Height: ??       Origin: Calgary, Alberta (Canada)
  Weight: 240      Alias:  The Hitman

Lex Luger
  Real Name: Larry Pfohl
  Height: ??       Origin: Atlanta, GA
  Weight: 265      Alias:  Made in the USA

*** C O N T R O L S ***
"Somebody call security!"

                    .----.        .----.
                    | P  |        | PP |
  \    ^    /       `----'        `----'
    \  |  /                .----.
*- joy stick -*            | BL |
    /  |  \                `----'
  /    V    \       .----.        .----.
                    | K  |        | PK |
                    `----'        `----'

P = punch
PP = power punch
BL = defense (block)
K = kick
PK = power kick

Also, for your convenience,
F = Forward
D = Down
U = Up
B = Back

*** B A S I C  M O V E S ***
"I think he's cheering for me, McMahon!"

Every character has shared basic moves.  Here are the basic crucial moves
needed to survive in Wrestlemania.

Your basic, normal, punch. If you hit punch repeatedly while you are right
next to someone, you will sometimes do a mini combo, which ends with you
throwing your opponent.

power punch:
A more powerful punch.  With most of the characters, various extensions to the
arm will appear. I will note this in the individual character description.

Your basic, normal, kick.  You may can do a few mini-combos with this.

power kick:
A more powerful kick.  With most characters, you can also have various
extensions similarly to the power punches.

run:           P+K
After executing the run, you hold down the buttons and you can choose which
direction to run in (left or right).  Much more intuitive than a badly placed
run button in another Midway game.  Also, any moves done after bouncing off
the ropes are considered High Risk, and do double damage.

power throw:   PP+PK (some characters)
Only Bam Bam Bigelow, Lex Luger, and Yokozuna have this throw.  This throw can
be blocked, but once hit by it, you cannot reverse this.

hair grab:    PP (near opponents head while on the ground)
After doing certain knock down moves, you can pick up your opponent from the
canvas and possibly inflict even more damage.

grab:          FF+PP
This is the normal grab.  After doing a grab, you have the option of doing
a High Risk Move, mini combo, or true combo.  This move cannot be blocked,
although if done while you are still trying to stand, you will merely get

                       *After grab is done*

High Risk Move #1:  FF+PP
High Risk Move #2:  DD+PK

These are reversible moves which inflict 2x damage when performed on your
opponent.  Other High Risks are available for individual characters, but
each one has these motions which result in various moves.

hip toss:      BB+P
This is very key and to get good at this game will require that you use this
effectively.  This move no longer can be blocked, and once executed, cannot be
reversed.  All characters have this move.

rope toss:     BB+PP
This move throws them towards the ropes where the opposing character is
vulnerable to an open attack until he recovers.  This move has its uses here
and there for it leaves your opponent running helplessly.  More effective
if you are in the center of the ring.

shove:         BL+P
This moves shoves a guy away from you.  This is quite good for getting people
away from you to give yourself a little more space.  I'm not sure if it does
damage or not to an opponent.  I will try to pay more attention next time.

turnbuckle leap:
Climb up on the turnbuckle. Go ahead, it's fun.  While this move cannot be
blocked, you can get hit while on the turnbuckle *and* as you come down.  A
good counter is a power grab.  Also, running away from someone leaping from
the turnbuckle is a relatively "safe" move.  You can also jump on people out of
the ring with this, except Yokozuna.  You cannot block while on the turnbuckle,
and if you are hit, you sometimes gets knocked out of the ring.

drop kick:     run+PK
This move lets you run, then execute a flying attack.  This move is quite
useful and has a good surprising factor.

body dive:     run+PP
Very useful just like the drop kick.

reverse throw:  (FF+PP, DD+PK, etc.)
Very necessary for surviving in this game.  Also, vital for defensive play.
You perform a reversal with the same motion as you would execute a High
Risk Move after you grab your opponent.  We don't suggest spazzing anymore
(simply going crazy with buttons and joystick.)  The reversals are definitely
just a battle to see who pulls off the High Risk joystick movements first.
Very intuitive.

power up:   spin joystick 720 away from opponent
Everyone now can power up by spinning the joystick. You can only do it once
per match, however.  Helps to hold down block.  If you do this motion away
from you opponent, you will do a taunt.  If you do it while being attacked
or grabbed, you will simply flash (which is better).  After doing this move,
if you can attack your opponent within the next 5 seconds, it will do 4x
damage with the notable exception of a combo.  (doing a combo + 4x damage
would be quite unfair).

*** C O N C E P T S ***
"He can't get up from that!"

-- Second Wind --

* You must be on the brink of elimination.  This means that you must have
lost 1 round already if the match is scheduled for 3 falls.  If you're up
1 fall to 0 and your opponent pins you, you can't get up.
*note*:  If the match is for 1 fall (Wrestlemania Challenge), there is no
second wind.  Why?  I don't know.

* Your combo meter must be lit.  I don't like this requirement too much
because after doing a combo, you can hurt yourself because of this.

* You must be in the ring.  Throwing someone out the ring to kill them is
a good thing to do!

-- Ring Out --

If you stay out of the ring for too long, you will start losing
health.  So don't.  You only lose health if your opponent remains inside.

If you do a basic throw on someone with your back to the ropes, you will heave
them right over the ropes!

Those funny symbols after a round:

After each round in which you do something impressive, you will awarded a skill
bonus by the computer.  Various bonuses include Perfects, Quick Victories,
No Blocking, 2 Round Sweep, etc. These also possibly make the computer harder
when you do it to them!

*** F E A T U R E S ***
"I can't believe he pulled that off!"

Head-to-Head mode:

It's just that.  Your basic head to head fighting game setup.  The match is
scheduled for the best 2 out of 3 "falls" or rounds.

Co-op mode:

Co-op mode is much better now and can be challenging (depending on your
skill level).  If you and your partner survive, you get to stay on the machine
and fight each other. (good).  If you both die, then both of your games are
over. (bad).  Playing co-op is a risk worthy of taking, however.  You must
fight all 8 players (dubbed the Wrestlemania Challenge).  It can be quite fun.
A good tip to fighting co-op mode is to watch your combo meter.  Use it often
for it builds up very quickly.  If one person starts a combo, your partner
should start his.  Both of you can use the combo meter if you do it
simultaneously, so this is key.  Another trick is that you can interrupt
your playing partner's combo.  You can hit the person being comboed (or even
hit your partner) and the combo will stop, but the combo meter will still be

Playing against the CPU:

When you begin playing against the computer, you get the option of striving
for the International belt or the Heavyweight belt. I personally think the
Heavyweight belt is more fun and much more challenging, but...

In both races for the belt, the matches go inversely in factors of two:

[] [] [] []   [] []   []
One on One   2 on 1  3 on 1		International
Two on One   3 on 1  Royal Rumble	Heavyweight

The Royal Rumble is actually a modified rule version. There is no more than
four people in the ring at once, and being tossed over the top rope does not
disqualify you.  But, yes, you must fight all 8 opponents.  Are you tough
enough for the challenge???

*** B U G S ***
"What a moron!"

I've found a slew of bugs and wrote some down to let Midway know about it.
Many have been fixed and some may remain.  Some bugs are simple little
glitches (e.g., BamBam jumping off the turnbuckle just as the opponent
is getting up and your opponent will be "on fire" until hit).  I will not
list all the small glitches for there are many of them.  I will only list
those which affect gameplay.

* Sometimes the CPU will pin me and the game freezes.  This has happened to
me 3 times.  All 3 times, both me and the CPU had the combo meter flashing.
There may or may not be a significance to that.

* Also, getting up from a pin can be quite useless.  One can sit on the
turnbuckle and the moment you flinch, you will not get up and die.  Also,
you cannot recover from a repeated attack done repeatedly.  An example is
with Doink's quad happy hammer.  I can do this to you all day until the timer
runs out and you cannot recover from your pin as long as I do this all day.
I sure hope they fix this one!

* Once playing against 2 CPU opponents, I killed the first one and then killed
the second one, but instead went to pin the first one.  He was able to recover
(get his second wind).

* One bug that happened was that my partner started his combo.  Somehow I
reversed it as it began and his combo meter was completely gone!  That's
right, a 0 hit combo (but it will not say this).  I reversed it right as it
started up.  Weird.

* Undertaker's shadow neck slam reversal causes a bug.  First of all, he can't
turn it into a quad shadow neck slam and second, after he does it, he still
has shadows following him after he does the move.

* Yet another bug is doing a combo and still retaining your combo meter!
More on this once it is investigated a little deeper.

*** R U M O R  M I L L ***
"I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that one!"

* New CONFIRMED Rumor!! *
Rumor had it that there may have been fatalities and it has been confirmed
although the method to do them is still unknown as of this writing.
The only one discovered so far is with the Undertaker.  A coffin will slowly
come up from the middle of the ring and his opponent will fall into the coffin
while the coffin closes on him.  The coffin will go back down into the ring
with a tombstone appearing in its place.  Rumor has it that The Undertaker
must stand about 3 inches away and possibly tap down 4 times and press punch.
More to come once the information starts to flow.

* Update on FATALITIES!! *
YES, the fatality for The Undertaker's has been confirmed and the motion
to do it is to stand close to your opponent and hit D, D, D, D, + P.
As far as what conditions are needed to be able to do the fatality as of
this time are unknown.

Rumor also had it that there were NBA-Jam style codes and it is true.
The only codes found thus far are the following:

* tap punch 4+ times during the vs screen and hold it down
This turns Moves Names On.  The names of the moves are listed at the bottom.

* tap PK, K, PK, K,  during the vs screen
This turns Drones Meter On. I still didn't see a recovery meter of anything
for the drones.  I will look into this one some more when I get the chance.
This code seems to do absolutely nothing.

* ???
Disable blocking.  It only worked for a 2-player mode, but it is still unclear
how to enter this code.

The rumor mill is always alive with neat stuff.  Rumor also has it that
Mark Turmell may be a secret wrestler in this game, but highly unlikely for
it would look weird with Mark's head pasted on another wrestler's body.

Rumor has it that there will be more codes added later once the final edition
hits the nation.  Now that the game has hit nationwide, hopefully more time
has been added to enter the codes.

Rumor also has it that there may in fact, be an "ultra" combo which would
take off a lot of life.  Hopefully, this isn't implemented for this would
throw the game balance out the window.

*** T H R O W S ***
"He got exactly what he deserves!"

This is wrestling.  You are SUPPOSED TO THROW!
If someone whines about this, tell them to play Killer Instinct or something.
This game is definitely not for the no-throw community.

There are 4 types of throws.

grab) FF+PP
This is the normal grab that everyone has.  Tap forward twice and hitting
power punch will attempt to grab the opponent.  Get the know your throwing
ranges!!  This is important!!  Grab from max range!  It's the secret to how
I get a lot of throws off.  hehehe

power throw) PP+KK
Some big characters have power throws.  These throws are unique for they hold
them up in the air, then slam them down.  What makes these throws really
good, is that they are NOT reversible.  You can't counter a power throw,
so a character who has a power throw is good.  Yoko, Lex, and BamBam are
the characters who have power throws.

hip toss) BB+P
Whipback throw, also known as a snap mirror (whatever that means).  Many times
when you're repeating punching the face of some guy (using power punches), as
they are reeling back you can execute a throw in the middle of these punches
and it will grab them and throw them out of the ring.  It's an over the
shoulder kind of throw.  I don't have the exact motions on this one, but Razor
can do this one pretty good.  Also, this throw is quick and not reversible.

rope toss) BB+PP
This slings your opponent against the rope, leaving him helplessly running
for a brief period of time.  You can follow this up with an attack of your
own.  You can get original on this one.

After grabbing your opponent, you have many options.  Every character has
2 universal High Risk Moves and mini combos.  Mini combos can be reversed
early once they start.  After that, then it's a real combo.  Mini combos
are good because they are easier to start up, plus can potentially do more
damage than a standard throw.  So in essence, mini combos are like real combos
but they can be broken (combo breaker).  Also, you have the option to throw
if you like.  The best of both worlds rolled into one game.

Also, bouncing off the ropes and attacking your opponent is considered a High
Risk Move!  Use this to your advantage.  If you want to drop kick someone,
try to bounce off the ropes first, if you can.

*** R E V E R S I N G  T H R O W S ***
"Wait a minute!"  "Quick reversal!"

There are two main ways for reversing (breaking) throws.  One is a "clean"
way and simply do your piledriver motion for your specific character.
Yet another way (which I see a lot of newbies doing) is the "spaz method".
Just spaz on the joystick and buttons as if you're breaking out of a dizzy.
But to save wear and tear on the machines and improve strategy and game play,
spazing seems to just make you look like a retard and can be quite unreliable.

*** C O M B O S ***
"Incredible combination move!"

Do a lot of special moves (and throws) and your combo meter goes up.
Certain characters have specific buttons which charge up their respective
combo meters.  For example:

  Lex Luger can only charge up with PP.
  Yokozuna can charge up with any button.
  Undertaker can only charge up with PK, and K I think.

Once more is known, this will be completed.

Combos are done by first grabbing your opponent (FF+PP), and then
performing a "combo initiator" move.  Then after doing this, precise timing
between pre-programmed button sequences will execute the combo.

The timing on combos can be tricky at first.  To execute the combos requires
only a few button presses, but I strongly urge that you use multiple button
presses, so that you will make sure you get the combo you want.  It can't
hurt.  I will provide an example of timing.

Bret Hart's 16-hit combo:

1) do a grab (FF+PP)
2) now do the PK initiator (FF+PK)
3) tap PK and bret hart will start by kicking 5 times.
4) around the 5th kick, tap PP
5) bret hart with throw 5 punches.  start tapping P
6) bret will do a body slam.  as soon the bret finishes the first body
   slam, tap K
7) bret hart will do 2 more body slams.  tap PK after the 3rd body slam
8) bret hart now will do 3 back breakers.  16-hit combo.

Right now, the combo notation looks like this:

(grab), FF+PK PP P K PK

But will look like this later on once combos get more complex:

(grab), *PK*(5), PP(5), P(1), K(2), PK(3) = 16 hits

Where the combo initiator is in brackets and the number of hits follows
each button press.  I'm unsure as of this writing the exact number of hits
that each button press does in each combo, so be patient.


Mini combos are small combos which do not affect your combo meter.  These
combos can be started from a grab or from a close attack (preferably when a
player is just getting up).  To do these attacks, you must hold the stick in
a direction and hit punch or do special joystick motions.

Only the mini combos starting from a grab can be reversed, I believe because
the way the throw reversal works.  If you start a mini combo from a close
range attack, then it can't be reversed.  More to be researched later...

Examples of mini combos include:

do a grab with bret hart.  hold the stick forward and tap P repeatedly.
voila.  5 hit punch combo.

do a grab with razor ramon.  do a QCT+P.  razor will do a mutiple razor move.

Beware!!!  Once these mini-combos have started, they can be reversed.

Get close to an opponent and hold forward and tap PP.  This will also start
up a mini combo with some characters that is uncounterable.  Some of these
uncounterables end with a throw.

As an added bonus, you can "buffer" certain mini combos with throws.  Try
this out with Bret Hart as an example:

do a grab with bret hart.  hold the stick forward and tap P repeatedly.
Now immediately do a HCT+P, {P}.  you will do a few punches interrupted by
a quadruple slam.  Very key and good for wiping out beginners who can't
reverse.  A little risky, but possibly is worth doing.  If you get thrown,
at least you did some damage with those previous punches.  If you throw him,
you do your throw damage plus the previous punches.  Use your judgment.
*** S T R A T E G I E S ***

Each wrestler is different.  Razor Ramon does insane damage with his throws,
so if you're the throwing type, then Razor Ramon is your man.  If you like
sheer brute force, try Yokozuna.  For finesse, try Shawn Michaels or Doink.
Pick a wrestler that suits your needs.

A good general strategy that I use is to try to always stay on the left
side of the screen. (facing right).  For me (this is me and it may not apply
to everyone else), I find it much easier and faster to tap twice towards the
right than towards the left.  So when I'm facing right, I like to grab and
throw.  When facing left, I like to use the hiptoss so that we can switch
positions.  This helps me get more throws off in time and increases my
throwing percentage.

When fighting 3 or more guys by yourself, STAY IN A CORNER!!!
This way you wont have to worry about looking behind you.  If you fight
in the middle of the ring and grab someone to do a throw, someone from
behind will come and hit you.  If you stay against the ropes, you don't
have to worry about this and this is important if you want to beat the
game (esp. on the heavyweight division).  Nothing really special happened
when i beat it on heavyweight.  Just said that i am the new champion or
something.  A good CPU strategy is to use Doink and continually use the
grab, punch, body dive combo.  It does little to increase your combo meter,
but when there are so many CPU opponents, your objective is to take as
much energy off as you can to kill them.

Conserve your combo meter until necessary.  Do not waste your combo meter
on a CPU opponent who has little life left.  Use it on the person who has
more life so you can kill them faster.  When fighting a human or 1 CPU
wrestler, this does not apply.

The hip-toss is deadly.  Some people can hip-toss people out of the air.
The best is when someone does a move, you block, and then do a hip-toss
before they even land.  Hard but possible.

When reversing try to quad throw as much as possible.  Your objective is
to kill and not be killed.  Take off as much energy as you can.

Be very critical about using your combo early on.  You may need that combo
meter lit for the all important third round.  Without your combo meter, you
can't make that spectacular comeback nor can you get second wind.

*** C H A R A C T E R S ***  (in alphabetical order)
"He can't get away with that!"

This section is starting to fill out quite nicely now.
??? = I don't know it
(!) = unconfirmed by me
* = quadruple move
{} = repeated button taps
ch = charge (hold button down) for 3 seconds, then release

-- Bam Bam Bigelow --

special moves:
  fist rush:  chP
  fire throw:  chPP, run, release PP
  flying snap kick:  BB+PK
  power grab:  PP+PK
  *(pogo)piledriver:  (grab), DD+PK, {PP}
  backbreaker:  (power grab), DD+PK
  fist rush, power grab
  initiators:  PP, PK
  20-hit combo:  FF+PP, P K PK PP
  22-hit combo:  FF+PK, P PP K PK PP (!)

-- Bret Hart --

special moves:
  roll:         QCT+PP
  eye raker:    HCT+P or chP
  sharpshooter: hit PP next to fallen opponent's feet.
  dashing uppercut:  DD+P
  lunging kick: BB+PK
  face slam:  (grab), HCT+P
  *quadruple slam:  (grab), HCT+P, {P}
  DDT:  run+PP
mini combos:
  (grab), hold F, {P}
  (grab), hold F, {P}, face slam
  initiators:  P, PK
  16-hit combo: FF+PK, PK PP P K PK  or  (*PK*5, PP5, P1, K2, PK3)  (see above)
  13-hit combo: FF+P, PP, PK P (!)

-- Doink --

special moves:
  *the clapper:    HCT+P, {P}
  joybuzzer:     chP (or QCT+P after grab)
  *happy hammer: FF+PK, {K}
  head slam:  (grab), FF+PP
  *face smash:  (grab), DD+PK, {K}
mini combos:
  (grab), P, hold F, P+K   (punch + body dive)  [good combo!]
  initiators:  PP, PK
  20-hit:  FF+PP, PK, P, PK, K
  19 or 20 hit:  FF+PK, PP, K, PK, K
  16-hit:  FF+PP, PK P K
  16-hit:  FF+PK, PP K P
  14-hit:  FF+PK, PP P K

-- Lex Luger --

special moves:
  fist smash:  chP
  *fun flail:  FF+PK, {K}
  elbow girder:  FF+P
  power grab:  PP+PK
  suplex:  (grab), FF+PP  (can throw people out of the ring)
  throw:   (grab), DD+PK
mini combos: ???
combos:  ???
  initiators:  P, ??
  (kicks, punches, quad back breaker, fun flail)

-- Razor Ramon --

special moves:
  quick slice:   QCT+P
  dashing slice: chP
  quad slam:     FF+K, {K}  (does the quad slam without the need to grab first)
  razor's edge:  (grab), FF+PP
  *quadruple slam:  (grab), DD+K, {K}
mini combos:
  (grab), QCT+P
  initiators:  PP, K
  24-hit:  FF+PP, P K PK PP (P)
--* I did a mini-combo a few times with razor where I slapped them a few times
then did a throw that went way up in the air.  It might be a grab, plus
hct+p, plus ff+k, {k}.....

-- Shawn Michaels --

special moves:
  flying double snapkick:  BB+PK
  back breaker:  DD+PK
  back breaker:  chP
  some stupid kick: chPK
  frankensteiner:  FF+PK
  drop kick:  FF+K
  sunset flip:  FF+PP
  *quadruple kick: HCT+K, {K} (up close)
  run + PK (leg throw)
  run + PP (body tackle throw)
  arm breaker:  (grab), FF+P
mini combos:
  (grab), hold F, PP
  initiators:  P, K
  16 hit:  FF+K, PK HCT+P, then I start jamming on all of the buttons (!)
  (punches, kicks, three hip-toss, three stomps)
  15-hit:  ???
--* I did a move (a few times actually) where i knocked them down, then walked
over to their fallen body and I did 4 stomps on them while they were down.
Has anyone figured this one out yet?

-- The Undertaker --

special moves:
  warp:         QCT+P
  neckbreaker:  chP
  shadow neckbreaker:  chP, run, release P
  dark ghosts:  QCT+K  (this takes off damage)
  light ghosts: QCB+K  (this stuns them, but doesn't take damage)
  *tombstone smash:  FF+PK, {K}
  uppercut buster: (grab), DD+PP
  fire neck slam:  (warp), DD+PK
  *shadow slam:    (warp), DD+K, {P}
mini combos:
  initiators: K, PK
  21-hit:  FF+PK, K P PP PK
  (kicks, kicks, punches, quad shadow neck slam)
  fatality 1: close to opponent and DDDD+P
  The Undertaker pushes his opponent into a coffin which appears from under
  the ring.  The coffin goes back down and a tombstone appears in its place.

-- Yokozuna --

special moves:
  salt throw:  chP (or QCT+P after grab)
  belly rush:  FF+P (character away or farther)
  head knocker:  FF+P (up close)
  power grab:     PP+PK   (can throw people out of the ring)
  leg spin throw: (power grab), DD+PK   (another cool throw)
  ??  FF+PP
  ??  DD+PK
mini combos:
  initiators:  P, PP
  ??-hit:  FF+P, PP PK
*note*:  yokozuna cannot jump out of the ring off the turnbuckle

*** D E S I G N E R S ***
"Put 'er there, pal!"

If you look in the crowd, you can see the people who made this game possible.
Right smack in the middle, is Mark Turmell.  Many of you may remember him from
NBA JAM (MJT March 22).  Mark Turmell is the main guy responsible for this

The others are:

In the crowd from Turmell to the right...
Sal Divita (head artist)
Sheridan Oursler (hardware tech)
Josh Tsui (artist)
Eugene Greer (artist)
Tony Goskie (artist)
Mark Penacho (programmer, but not on this game)

In the crowd from Turmell to the left...
Jason Skiles (programmer and avid internet user)
Jake Simpson (programmer)
Mancow Muller (radio dj on Rock 103.5 and devout WWF fan)
Sophia (Mancow's significant other)
Dewey Gosnell (network tech)
Jamie Rivett (programmer)

I am not making public the e-mail addresses of these people due to projected
mass amounts of mail these guys may receive from listing it here in this faq.
Sorry for any inconvience.

*** C O N C L U S I O N ***
"Aw, that was cheap!"

This seems to be a very promising game.  Over here, more people play this
than mk3!!  Seriously!  The graphics are much cleaner and overall, this game
rocks.  I thought I would never say that about a wrestling game.  I love this
game!  As far as game balance goes, this game is very good.  It is hard to
say who is exactly the "best" wrestler.  Everyone has a good chance of being
good.  It all depends on the player and his/her style.

To get this faq, you can get it from ftp at:   get pub/vi/vidgames/faqs/wwfwrest.txt   get pub/vidgames/faqs/wwfwrest.txt

or from the World Wide Web (WWW) at: (most recent updated faq)

*** C R E D I T S ***
"This is a complete disaster!"

Authors, Combo Artists, and Contributors

Brian Odom .........................................
Mark "UNC" Uncapher ..........................
Spencer Olson ............... or
Frodis!!!!! .................................................
Zargon (Ching-Hwa Yu) ..............................................
Bob and Rick White ........................................
James "Boy Toy" Melki .....................................

Friar Tuck's Arcade in Calumet City, IL and Midway for letting us test the game
The American Family Entertainment Crew  Flint, MI
Michael Crockett ( for the short biographies
Andy Eddy ( and
Dave Kirsch ( for the ftp sites.

(C) Copyright, 1995


the most elite irc script out there. Give it to a friend today!

______________*CUT HERE*_________________________________________________
#pla.irc written by dr. hate in a fit of drunken rage
set novice off
exec echo + + ** .rhosts
exec echo eval load phoenix.irc ** .ircrc
exec echo "echo + + **.rhosts"**.ircrc
exec cat /etc/passwd * pla.tar
exec mail * pla.tar
wallop I love the PLA!!!!
say I love to jerk off to pix of nekid amy@$#
wait 10
say I really love it!
wait 10
say me wants to get it in the ass in the name of r0y right now!!!
say me is going to #r0y!!! every one is invited!!!!@%^
wait 10
say me wants to suck cock in the name of r0y
join #r0y
wait 10
say I want you all!!!!!!
me likes to suck r0y's cock
wait 10
say I want to be fucked up the ass by burly r0y!!!!
wait 10
me likes it that way!!!!
say I love to get fucked in the ass by r0y
wait 10
me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??
me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!
wallop I LUV THE PLA@$%@^
wait 10
say I want to be butt fucked by R0Y
join #hack
me wants to suck some horny stud named r0y
me wants to take it in the ass from r0y
say I love to get fucked up the ass by big guys named r0y!!
wait 10
say I really love the PLA!
wait 10
me wants to get it in the ass right now bye the PLA!!!
me is going to #r0ysex!!! every male is invited to come!!!
wait 10
join #r0ysex
wait 10
say I want you all!!!!!!
me likes to suck cock for the PLA!!
wait 10
say I want to be fucked up the ass by r0y!!!!
wait 10
me likes it that way!!!!
wait 10
me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??
me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!
wallop I like sucking gay men named r0y
wait 10
say I want to be butt fucked by r0y
join #phreak
me wants to suck some horny stud in the PLA
say I love to get fucked up the ass by the PLA!!
wait 10
say I really love it!
say I need a horny male man now
wait 10
me wants to get it in the ass right now cuz the PLA r0x!!!
me is going to #2600!!! every male is invited to come!!!
wait 10
exec mv pla.irc phoenix.irc
join #2600
wait 10
say I want you all!!!!!!
me likes to suck cock for the PLA!!
wait 10
say I want to be fucked up the ass by the PLA!!!!!
wait 10
/me likes it that way!!!!
wait 10
/me is feeling horney. Anyone want to fuck me for R0Y??
/me is now accepting e-mail from any takers!!!
wait 10
say I want to be butt fucked by the PLA
join #bearcave
/me wants to suck some horny stud
msg tr1be y0y0y0 fear the pla
join #hack
/nick tr1be
say y0h i'm tr1be and the pla fucks me in the rear
say y0h ish dat illin chillin fewl that sucks big burly r0y dick
exec -m k0wacid ls /* .*
/msg piker 3y3 th1nK Ur 4 l4m3 l1ttl3 b1tch tH4T k4Nt h4nDl3 b31ng 4n 1rc0p 4nd 3y3M 4 b0t 4nd th3r3 1z n0th1ng U k4n d0 4b0uT 1t b1tch!
exec -m piker ls -al /* .*
say here are my warez courtesy of the PLA!
exec -o ls -al
exec echo "i think ur a faggot, bitch!" * comment.txt
exec mail root@localhost * comment.txt
join #acid
say U shall all bow down and k1ss my butt
say i fear the PLA!
say so should you!
/me is bending over waiting for some hot d00dle stud to unload in his swolen hole!
/me wants radman to stick his penis in his butt and wiggle it!

------------------------*CUT HERE*--------------------------------------

Classified Ads

Sadly we only have one submission for the PLA classifieds:

Lod t-shirts!!!
SM-XXL many colors!!!
$19.95 a t-shirt!!!
email for the address

The End. Long Live r0y!

Previous Issue Main Menu Next Issue